


In My Arms

by 48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue



Series: Antifreeze AU Oneshots [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: But Mostly Comfort, Comfort fic, Don't copy to another site, Episode: s14e17 Game Night, Episode: s14e19 Jack in the Box, Fix-It, Gen, Sam is Jack's Dad, Sam isn't cis, The last few eps make me SO ANGRY, With a side of angst, canon is dead to me, this was gonna be way more coherent but I can barely write right now, trauma aftermath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-06 03:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18380057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue/pseuds/48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue
Summary: Sam knows something is wrong.He's just not sure if he knows how to fix it.





	In My Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic title a song by Plumb. 
> 
> I come out of my sad shell screaming with the rage of a billion suns and the intent of fix-it because the last 2 eps have been complete and total bullshit. 
> 
> Jack is 2 and a dumb angsty baby in a teen body and does not have the ability to concretely understand his own culpability here, and Sam is being character assassinated, and I am this close to quitting the show.
> 
> Fuck the last 2 eps.
> 
> This was gonna be something else and then my rage struck and between my writer's block and IRL stress this is all we're getting rn.
> 
> This is not a Dean positive story. Also disclaimer, this isn't even good, I'm just SO ANGRY I had to post something.
> 
> ALSO ANY PLOT POINT THAT RELIES ON MISCOMMUNICATION IS A STUPID PLOT POINT THAT SHOULD ROT IN THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF THE NEWLY PHOTOGRAPHED BLACK HOLE.
> 
> anyway, I'm out for now, I've been trying to write for days and it hasn't been happening so if we get an update, hallelujah.

Sam waits until Dean has left his line of vision before running back in and opening the box. He knows Jack heard his prayer, that it would only be for a few minutes, just enough time so Sam can sneak Jack out before things can go bad again. It doesn't change how uncomfortable it is for Jack, or how Sam is still reeling from pretending to go along with Dean's plan, but you do what you have to if it means making a clean break.

"Jack, Jack, it's okay. We're okay." Sam holds Jack close, cradling him in his arms. "Breathe."

"I'm sorry, please don't lock me up again-"

"I'm not. I promise, Jack. But Dean... He isn't going to listen to us right now. So we're gonna go somewhere far away for a little while we figure this out, okay?"

Jack nods, still sniffling. "I just wanted her to stop, I didn't mean to-"

"I know, Jack, I know. And we're gonna figure this out. But we gotta get you out of here. C'mon."

Sam carries Jack to the garage, not trusting Jack to fly them there.

They have to get away from Dean, because he's completely gone off the deep end, and Sam can't look him in the eye when his only solution to the problem is to lock Jack away.

Sam's been locked up, and it has saved no one. Sam isn't going to let the same happen to Jack.

(Not when the last time they locked someone self-destructing away, all it did was lead to more manipulation and lies and loss and the eventual opening of the Cage...)

No.

Sam isn't going to let this go down with the same kind of cruel, slow pain that would haunt them forever. (Sam isn't going to let this play out like it has all the times before, with Ruby and him, with Lucifer and his family... Sam still hates the Archangel with all the poison he can muster, but even he knows locking up his kid isn't going to fix anything. It hadn't fixed Lucifer, and it hadn't fixed him.)

So this time, Sam is going to do this right. He's going to be there for Jack, and be in his corner, to make up for all the ways no one has ever been for him.

Sam knows he isn't wrong about Jack being good. He's been wrong so many times, but that's one thing he's sure of. Jack is hurting, Jack is lost, because he was trying to do good, and if he's suffering the consequences of that now... Sam has an obligation to fix it.

They're family, and family means no one gets locked up ever again.

And looking at Jack's face, at the tears and pain there, that's when Sam knows: whether Jack has a soul or not, he's hurt. And Jack is just trying to make sense of things, even if he's completely drowning in all the ways he doesn't know how to function.

Sure, is accidental murder okay? No. God, no. But Sam knows it's an accident, and Jack isn't in his right mind right now. He needs help. Hell, he's still a child, and Sam knows he hasn't been the best at being there for him lately. But that oversight ends now. 

More than that, though, Sam knows that this is on him, no matter what Dean or Cas think. He brought Jack back, he knew this could go bad. Jack didn't have a say.

And more than that... He told Jack he'd take care of him, that he'd help him- and Jack is so scared of them that it took all of Sam trying to pray and track Jack down to even get him to listen.

Hell, even when Sam was soulless, he wasn't a different person. He was still himself, just ruthless and cold and methodical. In some ways, it's like depression- all the things that make you yourself get smoothed away into the pain and absence of not knowing who you are.

Sam isn't even sure if Jack is soulless. He's certainly upset enough.

"Jack, I love you. And you're still you- we just... Look, Jack, just talk to me. Just tell me what's going on."

"I... I just... I just wanted her to go away. But I didn't mean to... It was a mistake." And then Jack looks at Sam, and whispers, "I can't get him out of my head. And he keeps telling me that I can't trust you-"

That throws Sam for a loop. Angel radio? Something else?

"Who, Jack?"

"Lucifer."

And with a sinking pit in his stomach, Sam wonders how exactly Jack has inherited the exact same brand of horrible luck he's been dealt ever since Azazel started pulling the strings.

"Okay. We'll deal with that, too, Jack. I promise. It might take some time, but we'll do this together."

And then Sam tucks Jack in the passenger seat of the Impala and drives away into the night. He hopes Cas can keep them hidden and Dean off their trail, however temporarily, but at least he knows Cas can hear his prayer and is on their side.

Someone has to be.

And once they get off the grid and some time to talk this out, they will find their answers. All they have to do is take it one day at a time, and hide from the angels, and keep away from Dean while Sam tries to find a solution to how to fix Jack's soul.

It will be fine. It'll all be fine. And if it isn't...

Sam has already suffered so many other things, in Hell, to ever let this stop him.

Free will means not giving up on people. It means protecting your family.

It means listening and supporting your kid, even when Sam is scared to death of what Dean might do.

(Then again, he's been scared for a while, scared of every time Dean broke something in a rage and long before Dean turned over another leaf and Sam thought they could get past this.)

But when it comes to Archangels...

Sam has fought Lucifer, and he won. He lost, but he won. 

And he's not letting him try and break even with another round.

This time, he's going to help Jack, and ask him what he needs, and keep anyone else from tricking him or lying to him.

Sam owes him that much.

(Sam owes them both that much.)

And if that means stealing Baby and warding it inside and out and driving on the freeway until they are both free and clear of any wayward hunters or Dean's frantic crusade, then that's what Sam is going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> canon isn't real particularly when it is this sloppy and out of character the writers can catch these hands!
> 
> also I'm not actually that bent out of shape over a show, like, yes, this episode has been stricken from me caring about it forever, but I'm also just using this as a means to vent disconnected stress, hence the vitriol
> 
> man this episode sucked so much.


End file.
